In Honor of Mother's Day: Why We Need More Erma Bombeck and Less Bethany Frankle

Confession time, I was an avid reader of Erma Bombeck as a child and teenager (she died when I was 19).

Even though I wasn't a mom or even close to being married at the time, something about how she wrote always resonated with me. I still have dog eared copies of her books and my husband can always tell I'm reading her by how I laugh (no joke).

She is still the one I turn to when I'm having one of those days. To quote Erma:

"I've always felt uncomfortable about the articles that eulogized me as a nurse, chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, financier, counselor, philosopher, mistress, teacher, and hostess. It seemed that I always read an article like this on the day when my kid was in a school play and I ironed only the leg of the trouser that faced the audience, knitted all morning, napped all afternoon, bought a pizza for dinner, and had a headache by 10:30.

For a long time, I was afraid to laugh at the contrast, for fear no one else would."

Around Mother's Day every year the "When God Created Mothers" post gets shared and is usually credited to "anonymous". I always want to yell at the internet, "That's not anonymous, that was written by Erma Bombeck!"

We are forgetting Erma, and it breaks my heart.

Erma was the first who taught us it was okay to laugh at ourselves.

It's okay not to be perfect.

We can love our kids and want to kill them at the same time.

The same goes for our spouse.

The main job of parenting is getting everyone out alive.

It's been almost 20 years since she died and we seem to be going backwards and not forwards.

With the explosion of social media and sites like "Pinterest" we get sucked into competitive parenting and striving for things like the perfect kids birthday party.

When did we lose our minds?

I'm not knocking those of you who can do the Pinterest stuff and cool theme parties, seriously, that's awesome, but I can't do that. It's not me. And to those like me, sometimes we need to hear that it's okay we're not like that. We get sucked into this idea of what and who we should be instead of being who we are.

We need to lighten up and laugh at ourselves a little more.

We need to give ourselves (and our kids) a break.

We need to give our significant others a break too.

We just need to do the best we can do and not worry about how we measure up to everyone else.

Now if y'all will excuse me, I'm going to go clean my house in 15 minutes with a 10-minute coffee break in between. ;)

Plateaus and Coming to Terms With "Green" Smoothies

Since I haven't been consistent about working out and eating right (I have been okay with doing one or the other) I'm at my 150-ish plateau. I'm pretty happy that is my plateau number because it's the same plateau level I hit 9 years ago when I started getting serious about losing weight after having our first child.

So I'm going to have to put some more effort to lose the rest of this weight. That's okay, I knew I needed to do it; it's just making myself do what I know I need to do.



I mentioned trying Green detox smoothies a few months ago. Smoothies that were more vegetable and less fruit and more... well, green. This is pretty much how I looked each time I tried one:

I figured there had to be some better kind of compromise. Something where I wouldn't be drinking a beverage with more sugar than a 20 oz soda, but something I still could stomach where it didn't feel like drinking it was a part of penance I was required to do. So here's what I did:

Added one extra cup of berries.

Seriously, that was it and it made the smoothie SO much better, and it was only an additional 60 calories or so. Today I mixed it up and instead of one whole apple and one cup of blackberries, I did half an apple, 1/2 cup blueberries, 1/2 cup raspberries, 1/2 cup blackberries. I also included my 1 cup kale, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup cucumber, 1/2 cup celery, lemon juice, ginger, ground flax seed, ground cinnamon and ice water. The smoothie came in around 270 calories, but it's a huge smoothie. It could easily be split into two servings if someone wanted to do that. It also counts as 2 - 2 1/2 servings of vegetables and 2 servings of fruit so it's an easy way to get most of your daily fruits and veggies in (how much you need depends on your age, activity, calorie intake, etc.).

So I think I'm going to stick with my "compromise" green detox smoothies for the time being. Now I need to break through this plateau by being consistent with my eating and working out. :P

What Happens When You Can't Workout

Most personal trainer's will tell you you can't just eat your way to healthy, and you can't just workout your way to healthy. You have to eat right and exercise to get there. Which is all well and good, but what happens during those times when you can't do both?

Just do one. Seriously.

Over the weekend I had a monthly weigh-in for the 6-month dietbet I'm currently in. I woke up on Friday morning still 2 lbs over, but I had over 24 hours to eat less and sweat those two pounds off. Problem? I woke up with a really bad head cold that included a sore throat, aches and pains and a slight fever. Saturday morning? Same thing without the sore throat and I was 1 1/2 pounds over. Had I not been sick I probably would have worked out with trash bags on and long sleeves and pants to sweat out the last 1 1/2 pounds. 15 years ago I probably could have sucked it up and done that and be no worse for the wear. But, this is now now, not 15 years ago, so I decided I'd rather rest, and try to get better than push myself and possibly set myself back.



Even without working out, I am down another pound since Friday. I have counted every calorie, even over the weekend which is usually when I slack on my calorie counting. I was over on Saturday, but every other day I was on-target plus or minus 50 calories.

I've felt much better over the last two days so today's the first day I'm going to work out since before I got sick. I'm also easing back into it by doing pilates today. *note* That's "easing" not "easy", I'm not saying pilates is "easy". Old me would have decided to go for a 3-5 mile run to start back up again because pilates isn't a "real workout". It is a real workout, but my heart rate isn't at the same level as it is when I run, and that's a good thing and what I need right now.

Even if injury, illness, travel throws you off your routine still try to do what you can. If eating right is what you can do, continue to do that. If your food options are more limited but working out is an option, make sure you do that. Maintaining and not gaining weight when you're off your normal routine is still a victory when you're trying to lose weight.

Two Years Later and I'm Half-A-Pound Down, Whoo-Hoo!

As sarcastic as the title sounds; this is actually major progress ("Major Progress") for me.



This is a weight I reached last month right before I went on a two week trip, was home for a week, then was gone again for another five days. The positive thing is that I am back at the weight I started at and didn't just say "forget it" because I gained weight on the trips. Of course the point now is to keep going on this trajectory and not start creeping back up again. I entered another 4-week dietbet for April that ends the day before I fly out again. Unfortunately I don't think I'm going to make weight for my monthly check-in on the 6-month dietbet, I'd have to lose 3 lbs in 2 days, but at least I'm down a little from where I was for my final weigh-in last month.

That's the whole point of this, right? To know I'll occasionally have setbacks but to not let it discourage me and to work to get back to where I left off. If I'm being honest, this is how I'm going to have to live the rest of my life. That's why it's not a diet as in, I do this until I get to my desired weight and stop, it's a diet as in how I need to eat for the rest of my life. Throughout any point in my life there will be vacations and events where I'll relax and not watch what I eat; but that means when I get back I have to get right back to it and see how much weight I gained and make an effort to lose it again. It's not the end of the world to gain 2-3 pounds, but when I continually do it without making an effort to lose it again, that's how I end up where I'm at now.

So here's to April and my attempt to lose 5.5 lbs by the end of the month!

Tracking Calories Matters

A lot of times we come up with an incorrect hypothesis to why we're not losing weight. We see pet owners do this all the time. They tell us how this particular animal "only" eats a certain amounts of cups of their food a day (usually within the recommended amount). But what they're not counting is all the extra snack/treats the animal gets either by taking them from another animal in the house, food falling on the floor, from food handed to them from the table, food stolen from the counter, etc. etc.

The best way to avoid this is to count every single calorie you have. Whether in liquid or food form. This isn't always easy; since we sometimes have to guess portion sizes if we're away from home; but the more you measure out portions the better you'll be able to at least guess how much you're eating/drinking of something.

Even though I've counted calories off and on for years I still find a new smoking gun of some food that was "natural" so I underestimated how many calories was actually in it. Fruit's always a big one for people, large oranges come in at around 100 calories, and a large banana is approximately 120. For me, it was dates. Five dates come in at 330 calories. WHAT?!?! I could have had a candy bar and still eaten less calories.

Another common one people forget to add is the cream and/or sugar they add to their coffee. I've recently switched to milk which means I can have 4 tablespoons and come in at just 25 calories (I drink a bit of coffee in the morning). But 1 tablespoon of flavored creamer can vary from 30 to 35 calories. If I had 4 tablespoons of creamer that would be anywhere from 120 - 140 calories, just from creamer for my coffee. Honestly, I'd rather have an English Muffin for 120 calories than the creamer.

While we should strive to eat healthy for our overall health and to help lower our risk for disease; it looks like the biggest determination of whether or not you'll lose weight is to create a calorie deficit no matter what you're eating. I do remember starting to lose weight after having my first child and I was more concerned with sticking to my 1200 calories a day than eating a well-balanced diet. I was also working full time so convenience and time were huge factors for me as well. I did lose weight, and the thing I remember doing was sticking to 1200 calories a day. This man tried an experiment to create a caloric deficit eating primarily junk food to prove the point:



Again, I'm not recommending doing that because that's not healthy, but to show that more and more we're seeing that calorie deficit is the #1 factor in whether or not you will lose weight.

I also found this article online to be helpful. While at times this man can be a little harsh; he raises some good points of things we should at least look into first before we assume that we're not our own worst enemy.

http://www.aworkoutroutine.com/starvation-mode/

Why is a Naturally Green Beverage Stranger to Me Than an Artificially Green Beverage?

I have no problem drinking a beverage that looks like that one. However, when I make a drink that is green by nature it weirds me out.

I can eat food that's naturally green. I have no problem with spinach, broccoli, zucchini, cilantro, etc. But when I mix some of these ingredients and make a beverage out of them; the color is one more obsticle in trying to make myself drink it.

I tried a different green detox smoothie today. While it would be a stretch to say I liked it; I would say I didn't hate it and it was definitely better than the last one I tried. But, I still had issues with the color. So I took a page out of my parenting 101 book and put it in a dark-colored cup with a lid and a straw. Remember, mind games with yourself and doing what it takes to get the job done.

Here's the link to the recipe if anyone's interested in trying this one. I think the cinnamon is what made it more bearable for me. I also used spinach instead of kale because we don't have any kale.

http://skinnyms.com/cleanse-detox-smoothie/

Earndit, Bulu Boxes, and Credit Oh My!

This story begins with Jeanne telling me about different (free) fitness websites I could join. One of these is "Earndit". With Earndit you "earn" credits when you work out that can go towards discounts on a variety of fitness and nutrition items. If anyone is interested in joining; here's my referral link and we both get credit when you sign up:

http://earnd.it/19kC4ty

A lot of the rewards are discounts on items I'm not sure I would purchase if there wasn't a discount. However, one month was a credit towards a free Bulu Box sample. I figured, hey, free dummy, and signed up for it.



The problem with the Bulu Box is that you get single samples of products that, for the most part, would take more than one use to determine whether or not they work. The only samples I received that I would not need more than one use of were the energy gel and the hummus and crackers sample. One was a creatine powder sample, one was a daily gummy vitamin, another was a bag of tea that promoted "better sleep, digestion, and sinus health", and a liquid fish oil supplement. Well, maybe that last one I would only need one sample of; but the idea of it grosses me out a bit, even if it is "mango peach" flavored.

The biggest waste of money in this box is the sample "focused notecard". It's to encourage you to write down your goals, which is fine, but I don't need to pay $19 for a 21-day set for what essentially is a motivational index card when plain ones cost about $3.50 for a set of 500.

Now, Bulu Box is not a bad deal if these are products you normally buy. You get coupons for some in your monthly box and by reviewing the products you can get $5 off any full-size product you buy in their online store. Every month the store has certain products available for free shipping as well. But I can't see it having enough value for me to keep a monthly subscription.